do u think i'm mean?

you asked me once or twice lately

why i don't write about you,

you thought i hated you.

why, when i look back on those times

am i starting now to realize

that maybe what you thought was true,

maybe my love

had gone into

a different place,

from a different time,

a time when you 

were by my side.

but times have changed

and rearranged

and now i think

it's not so strange

that one time when

i really need

someone's help

when i look i see

that you're not there,

you've stepped back

and wonder now

why my heart is black.

don't you understand that i

was always right there

by your side?

don't you see?

don't you care?

it wasn't my sister

standing there...

she had other things to do,

ok, whatever,

but now i do.

i have myself

to watch over,

and buddy too,

don't be shocked when you discover

that when you die,

don't you ask

where  i am

because i'll be

a million miles

away from thee.

no tears i'll shed,

nope, none, you'll see.

in another life

maybe you'll be

the one that,

that time, needed me.

so don't be surprised,

don't be shocked

don't be foolish

from my heart 

your locked.

and never more

can i stop

the tears that came

pouring out of me,

if you were here,

maybe you'd have seen...

am i acting too extreme?

oh really?

do u think i'm mean?

well let me tell you

something true,

the reasons i

don't write of you

are because i can't

say three nice things

because of all

i can't believe i've seen...