the first time ever i saw his face
i remember it exactly
like it was yesterday...
he walked into my apartment on 95 christopher st.,
bubbly, excited, nervous and
glowing the glow that only a 25 year old can give off...
almost an innocence, which, in hindsight i would know was off.
but there it was,
my first impression,
my first thought, my first smile, our first words.
almost makes me wish that that day would have been different.
maybe we would have cancelled,
maybe he would have been sick,
maybe it would have never happened...
but it did.
first time you ever see the one who ends up being the love of your life (you think so anyway for a good while) but then turns into one of the most wretched things that ever crossed your path, you have hope. you have ideas that maybe, just maybe, this one will be different...maybe even, the ONE.
that day is such a great day, such an amazing day,
such a magical day...
why did it have to turn into tomorrow???
this week, after almost losing it all, i have been contemplating my life, my journey, my goals, my mission, my legacy, my destiny, and
i needed to resolve some things that i did wrong, some people i wronged, some wrong moves i made.
chris raucci, i don't know exactly what i did to him,
\for i was truly the one who got the short end of the stick, but, somehow, he feels wronged, and so, mr r., i just want to extend my hand, reach out and say, sorry...whatever happened, happened, but we also had some amazing times, and so, i don't want to remember the bad times ever again, instead, i want to move up, on and forward, and if i see you again, you don't even have to talk to me...just give me a knowing smile, not a huge toothy grin, just a smile, so i know that, someday, maybe, we will both be mature enough to possibly, even be friends...
here is the first frame i ever photographed of chris,
the day we met..
it's funnt, looking at it for the first time in years, but it's a very telling photo. i can see so much in his eyes from that first meeting, you can see his love for life, his excitement for being there, and the joy he felt in his heart, because, i do believe, he thought the same thing i was thinking...
this may be the ONE.
the first time.
hmmmmmmmm.............................................................................................................................................................
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