As the steps get higher,
so do the stakes...
and as numbers of days count one by one
the the weeks go by, some good, some bad,
pressure mounts, tensions rise,
and attitudes change,
creating disturbance in one's rituals
and imbalance in one's day.
when it comes down to the wire and there's no one looking, as we try to succeed in a world full of failure, and as we ask for forgiveness, or even for help...we get doors slammed in our faces by the very ones that talk a big talk about the "higher powers"
they have found but somehow forget to pass on any knowledge, unless it's somehow for their own good.
people talk only because they love to hear themselves. it makes them feel better than you to tell you how great they're doing.
when they ask (if they ask) how you are,
suddenly they recall an appointment that they are late for, of a phone call they need to make. stepping, basically, on the top of your head, as if it's just another step to get them where they need to go.
you're going down.
you thought i would forget?
you simply don't know me at all.
my mind, however bent
remembers every detail as it unfolded.
every second you made me wait,
every minute i sat alone,
every hour that i spent
in the very same places you used to go
that you swore you'd help me get out of,
but then never returned not one of my calls,
so today when the phone rang at 7:15 am,
i was not surprised one bit
to hear that you'd fallen down again.
was i upset?
did i care?
i always do...
will i be there to help you up?
not this time...
you're on your own.
if that makes me not a friend,
then i guess we deserve each other,
since you obviously weren't a friend to me, so, why, i'll ask you one more time...
why did you think i would be there for you?
we aren't friends.
we fucked a few times,
we hung out
but when i cried...
i heard crickets.
So, next time you need a friend,
or someone with a sympathetic ear to hear you bitch n complain,
just skip my number in your phone book.
because there's no one here who can help you any longer.
Oh, and when you return to your meetings this week and you have to say out loud that your back to step one...
tell them you got as far as step 13
fall off the high horse.
they'll all know exactly what you mean...trust me.